Talking To A Child About A Family Member With Diabetes

Give children simple explanations when talking to them about a friend or family member with diabetes...

Telling adults about a child's diabetes diagnosis might be an easy task. You just let them know about the diabetes and move on from there.  It can be an entirely different story when it comes to letting children know that a family member has diabetes.

Most kids will understand quickly if given the chance,  but you need to be prepared to give them a simple explanation.  There's no need to be overly technical. Talk it over with your endocrinologist or pediatrician first so you can get some of the facts you need.  You may also want to speak to a certified diabetes educator and get some diabetes related books to read before having the conversation.  Gather all the information you can get so you'll be prepared to answer questions the children may have for you.
 

DO IT AS SOON AS YOU CAN

Try to tell your children about the diagnosis as soon as possible.  It's not a good idea to try to 'hide' the diabetes.  Often, when you think you've hidden a situation from the family they end up finding out anyway.  It's better for you to have control over the situation so you can explain things to them, and support them as they learn about the diabetic sibling.
 

USE SIMPLE EXPLANATIONS

You don't have to sit down and give children an extensive crash course in how the digestive system works, but you can give a basic description of what diabetes is, and what the diagnosis means for the diabetic family member.  You might want to explain about insulin injections and why they're needed, if the person in the family will be injecting insulin in front of the child.  Use  age-appropriate words in your descriptions.  When explaining what diabetes is you might use the phrase "sugar in the blood" for a five year old  and "blood glucose level" for a 13 year old.
 
 

*Suggested Explanation For Telling Children:

"Diabetes happens because a part of the body stops working.  Do you know what a pancreas is?  (then explain what the pancreas is and where it is in the body) Explain what insulin is. (Go on to explain what needs to be done to help the person compensate for not having a pancreas.)  End off with a sentence like, "Do you have any questions you'd like me to try to answer for you?"
 

Try to give your child(ren) a reasonable explanation of any changes that will occur in the family because of the diabetes diagnosis.  Will the children have to stop eating  candy in front of a diabetic sibling?  Will any recreational activities (going to the movies, buying extra toys, etc...) have to be cut-back due to the cost of buying diabetic supplies?  Will the family have to change it's eating habits to make the diabetic in the family feel more at ease?  Explain that meals need to be eaten  at the same time every day if the person has to inject insulin at specific times.  Don't leave yourself out of the equation when you're talking about changes that have to happen.  Let the child(ren) know that you have to make changes and help out too.  Tell them about the things you'll have to learn.
 

TALK ABOUT A TEAM EFFORT

Stress that diabetes management is a "team" effort and that each family member has to try to help out.   You may even want to show them some of the diabetes related tasks that need to be done (checking  blood glucose level, drawing insulin, etc...) in order to make them a part of the diabetes management team.

For a small child, being a part of the team might be something as simple as helping fix dinners that fit into the meal plan the family member is following.  This is something a five-year old can do and still get a sense of accomplishment.  An older child, like a 12-year old might help out by taking a diabetic sibling in the yard and playing ball with them for exercise.
 
 

WATCH FOR THE CHILD(REN)'S REACTION

You may find that some children will react in a casual way, almost as if they had not been given any news at all, while others might be emotional and cry or be angry.  Watch your children and see which emotions they exhibit so you can act accordingly. Be as reassuring as you can and let the child know they can talk to you if they ever have any questions for concerns.

If the diabetic family member is a child, watch for reactions such as a competition for attention, fear and jealously in the non-diabetic child.  Diabetic children _will_ need more attention. You have to be there for testing blood sugars.  You have to watch what they eat.  You might have to go to their school in the middle of the day to give the child an insulin injection.

Diabetes enters the lifes of all the family members involved, not just the person who has diabetes.  It may be confusing and scary to any children involved but you can help them through the situation.  Keep the channels of communication open.